Подкасты пользователя losangel2011

Почему и как я хочу изучать английский язык (3)

Tue, 10 Apr 2018 15:23:00 +0300

Сегодня уже не стоит вопрос: нужно ли изучать английский язык. По-моему, знание иностранного языка, в особенности английского, — это абсолютно естественная необходимость в современной жизни. И мало кто будет с этим спорить. Другое дело, что у кого-то мотивация изучать английский более сильная и конкретная: для продвижения по карьерной лестнице, для учебы заграницей, для путешествий, для жизни в англоязычной стране. Я всегда говорю, что мотивация – это наиважнейший помощник в деле изучения иностранного языка. Чем она чётче и весомей, тем лучше идёт процесс.

А что делать тем, у кого она слабовата: хочу читать литературу в оригинале, смотреть фильмы, сериалы. Почти всегда есть готовый вариант на родном языке. Тут я бы посоветовала простимулировать себя дополнительно чем-то вроде "вызова себе" (я это сделаю, я стану лучше, умнее, интереснее, расширю горизонты восприятия мира), тем более, что это правда.

Итак, замотивировали себя и начали осваивать язык. Или, что на сегодняшний день чаще встречается, продолжаем постигать сложности и особенности английского языка. К сожалению, иностранный язык нельзя выучить раз и навсегда, не находясь в соответствующем языковом окружении. Только регулярные занятия будут держать ваш уровень в тонусе и делать его лучше. Но, к счастью, интенсивные и частые занятия актуальны на начальном этапе. Затем же вы можете снизить их интенсивность и частоту, лишь поддерживая определенный уровень знаний и постепенно его повышая.

Поскольку изучение иностранного языка – это такой "бесконечно вкусный апельсин", стоит задуматься об оптимальных способах его учить. Понятно, что здесь следует ориентироваться на индивидуальные предпочтения и личные особенности познания предмета. Вариантов масса: изучать в группе, индивидуально с репетитором, самостоятельно. Мало кто может похвастаться дисциплинированностью и недюжинной силой воли, чтобы учить язык исключительно один на один с собой. Гораздо более реалистичен и эффективен вариант изучения языка вместе с преподавателем, который направит, подскажет, задаст домашнее задание и проверит его.

Учить язык в группе или индивидуально — вопрос характера, темперамента человека. Кого-то очень даже вдохновляет работа в группе, когда можно послушать других учеников, сравнить свои успехи с результатами других и т.д... Кто-то исключает вариант группового изучения и приемлет только работу в паре с преподавателем.

Здесь снова есть выбор: вы занимаетесь с преподавателем очно (дома, в каком-то офисе) или пользуетесь современным способом — скайпом. При условии, что у вас хороший компьютер и скайп налажен должным образом (значит, технические погрешности не мешают занятиям), – это отличный вариант изучения иностранного языка в современном мире, когда время расписано по минутам. Преимущества очевидны: огромная экономия времени (не нужно никуда ехать, подбирать одежду, делать макияж и прическу), выход в интернет, а, значит, доступ к любого рода материалам, словарям, возможность заниматься с преподавателем из любого города.

Итак, почему я советую вариант со скайпом?

1. Потому что у нас потрясающая школа английского по скайпу lingvistov.ru!

2. Потому что это экономия времени (время на дорогу, приведение себя в порядок)

3. Потому что это оперативный доступ к разного рода материалам во время занятия.

4. Потому что это комфортно (вы можете сидеть в любимом кресле, укрыться пледом и пить чай/кофе/сок/воду для тонуса)

5. Потому что можно обучаться у преподавателя из любого города.

Не ждите понедельника, нового года, другой знаменательной точки отсчета, чтобы начать или продолжать изучать английский язык. Просто начинайте заниматься сегодня! Не откладывайте своё самосовершенствование!

"У меня нет прогресса в английском" (2)

Sun, 27 Sep 2015 21:23:00 +0300

Очень часто ввиду своей профессиональной деятельности я имею дело с людьми, которые на протяжении многих лет "грызут гранит" английского, но, по их собственным признаниям, без особых результатов. "Чего я только не перепробовал, - признается один из моих студентов, - и языковые курсы, и репетиторов, и онлайн-обучение - говорить так и не получается". Сегодня мы поговорим о причинах отсутствия прогресса в изучении английского языка.

"Мне не нужна грамматика" (1)

Mon, 21 Sep 2015 22:41:00 +0300

Можно ли научиться грамотно говорить по-английски не вдаваясь в грамматические правила и бесконечные однотипные упражнения? И если без нее не обойтись, то как "правильно" изучать грамматику?

Pickled Dicks (68)

Sat, 06 Sep 2014 20:32:00 +0400

- Medical Section: We do not recommend conjunctivitis
- A penis collector arrested for keeping jars of dicks!
- A happy penis cave in Thailand
- Who the fuck is Justin Bieber?
- A penguin suit or a panda suit?
- A planet of koalas: It would be so nice
- A woman set a forest on fire to help bored fire-fighters!
- Now you can study Japanese with our native teachers

Another Dead Neighbor (67)

Wed, 03 Sep 2014 18:39:00 +0400

- Good morning: Dead neighbors and police
- People who like cleaning and fishing: Pure satisfaction
- Quiet families and madhouses!
- Man burns down his house trying to catch a spider
- Jealousy towards pets: I love my dog more than you
- Japans most famous school girl is a man!
- A question of good taste and bad taste
- Do you care about what people say?
- The value of traditional families: Is there a point?
- Like us! ссылка

Nudefest! (66)

Sun, 13 Jul 2014 19:15:00 +0400

- This is no summer! Whats wrong with the weather?!
- Lying to students: Do your research first
- Speaking and laughing in sleep: Dangerous!
- Lingvistov Goats : Waiting for Lingvistov Milk
- British registered vampires
- How did vampire myths started
- Nudefest 2014: even tan or call of nature?
- The beauty of the human body: Do artists care?
- Participate in our video contest and win prizes! ссылка

Peacock Invasion (65)

Tue, 08 Jul 2014 19:58:00 +0400

- Lines in banks: Feeling of togetherness
- Russian men: I am sexy and I know it
- Why do old people become religious?
- Receiving an apology note from a burglar
- Knitting cute toys: A dog, a hedgehog or a rat?
- Men who knit: Who says they cant or shouldnt?
- An old woman fights with five peacocks in her house!
- A woman eats 26 burgers in 10 minutes
- Make a video answering the question "Why do you need English?" and win great prizes! More at: ссылка

Meth in the Accordion (64)

Tue, 01 Jul 2014 10:30:00 +0400

- Where the hell is the summer?! Is it really July now? It feels like October!
- Would we succeed as street artists?
- Talking dogs
- French boys faked his own kidnapping because he didnt want to go to the dentist
- Never trust personal information to your hair-dresser!
- Pregnant women doing heavy lifting and running marathons: Why not?
- How to smuggle drugs: Useful tips
- A girl addicted to drinking gas

Google Us, Doodle Us, Boogle Us (63)

Mon, 23 Jun 2014 07:59:00 +0400

- Landysh coming back from UFO
- No meat, no fun: Strange eating habits
- Laughter is the best medicine!
- The ugliest dogs contest in California
- "It was not a robber, it was just a ghost, maam"
- Bear who was a fan of baseball
- Zebra crossing a zebra crossing
- Small food on huge plates
- Asian food is for Asians
- Test your level of English! ссылка

Papa Bear (62)

Sat, 14 Jun 2014 18:42:00 +0400

- No-laughter podcast: Landysh strained her chest muscles
- Our trip to Asias dacha: Great house, no people around and 6 viktorias
- Asian woman chewing glass
- Eating stones: How to quickly and efficiently gain 20 pounds
- Travel living: Would you like to live this way?
- What are your top destinations?
- Hungry men go for larger women
- Dacha gives you status

(Pre-Intermediate) He Will Regret This (14)

Wed, 11 Jun 2014 09:35:00 +0400

Подкаст для пополнения словарного запаса и изучения разговорного английского языка

- Hello, Jane. Can I distract you for a moment?
- Sure.
- Could you help me? You dont have to if you are too busy.
- No, its ok. You are not disturbing me.
- Well, I cant figure out how to register on this website. Could you give me a hand?
- The website of the National Opera in Paris? I didnt know you were into classical music.
- Yes, classical music has a positive impact on my mood and productivity. Arent you keen on it?
- I think I am better off with plain honest rock.
- Anyway, in a week I am off to my friend who lives in Paris. And there is no point in visiting Paris if you cant go the opera.
- Do you expect there are any tickets left?
- I dont know. But I got in touch with my friend. He said that even if there are tickets on the official website, we might be able to buy tickets from some people right before the concert.
- I doubt it very much.

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(Pre-Intermediate) I Am into Opera (13)

Wed, 11 Jun 2014 09:33:00 +0400

Подкаст для пополнения словарного запаса и изучения разговорного английского языка

- Hello, Jane. Can I distract you for a moment?
- Sure.
- Could you help me? You dont have to if you are too busy.
- No, its ok. You are not disturbing me.
- Well, I cant figure out how to register on this website. Could you give me a hand?
- The website of the National Opera in Paris? I didnt know you were into classical music.
- Yes, classical music has a positive impact on my mood and productivity. Arent you keen on it?
- I think I am better off with plain honest rock.
- Anyway, in a week I am off to my friend who lives in Paris. And there is no point in visiting Paris if you cant go the opera.
- Do you expect there are any tickets left?
- I dont know. But i got in touch with my friend. He said that even if there are tickets on the official website, we might be able to buy tickets from some people right before the concert.
- I doubt it very much.

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Viktoria! (61)

Tue, 10 Jun 2014 20:26:00 +0400

- Ufa Special: Landysh rocks in Bashkortostan
- The Operation "Poppy": Policemen hunting wild cannabis bushes
- Eating marihuana: Our parents happy childhood
- Having an English lesson while under the influence: Does it help?
- New non-smoking law: Massive protests!
- Dating websites for dogs
- Teaching cats where to go to the toilet
- Asias Dacha: The curse of Viktoria!

Loserology (60)

Sun, 01 Jun 2014 15:53:00 +0400

- LINGVISTOV team picnicking: Great weather, food and mosquitoes
- Introduction to Loserology by Professor Asia
- What type of loser are you? Check yourself.
- We are starting psychotherapy via Skype: Write to us and we will sort you out!
- LINGVISTOV Goat Milk: Milk from English-speaking goats
- "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo" book
- Prostitution: Working? - No, just studying.
- Video prostitution: Whats wrong with that?!
- Angelina... really, go and eat something!

(Pre-Intermediate) Help! Help! (12)

Tue, 27 May 2014 15:25:00 +0400

Подкаст для пополнения словарного запаса и изучения разговорного английского языка

- Excuse me. Could you help me? I am looking for a grocery store. Could you tell me where it is?
- Sure, no problem. Its not far from here. You can walk. Actually, you know what? Follow me, I will show you.
- Oh, I cant thank you enough!
...
- Oh, my Gosh! This is a big supermarket!
- It is the biggest one around here.
- Can I ask you another favor?
- Yes, of course!
- I cant see well enough. I left my glasses at home. Would you mind helping me pick up some things? Id really appreciate it.
- Sure. What do you need?
- I need cheese, ketchup and I need two packets of potato chips.
- Here you are! Is that it?
- Yes, thank you. Youve been very helpful. Could you give me a hand with these grocery bags?
- Ok.
- Just one more thing... do you have the time?
- Err, yep, a bit.
- My new apartment is on the twentieth floor and the elevator doesnt work. Could you help me get the bags to my door?
- Im sorry. Im afraid I cant, I must be off now and Im very busy.
- It wont take long. Youre in good shape, it will be easy for you!
- Im sorry, I cant. Is that ok?
- Its fine. I just thought Id ask. Anyway, thank you!
- Bye. I am glad I could help.

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(Pre-Intermediate) Phrases for Phone Calls (11)

Mon, 26 May 2014 18:41:00 +0400

Подкаст для пополнения словарного запаса и изучения разговорного английского языка

- Hello. May I speak to Harry?
- Theres nobody here by that name, young man.
- Oh, I am sorry. I must have dialed the wrong number.
- Please hang up and dont call here again.

- Hello! Is Harry in?
- Hold on a minute... Im afraid, he is not here at the moment. Could you call back a bit later, please?
- Sure. When will he be in?
- In about an hour. Would you like to leave a message?
- Tell him that its Mike and its urgent.
- Im sorry, I didnt get that. This is a bad connection. Could you please repeat that?
- Tell him its Mike and this is urgent!
- Sorry, can you speak up?
- This is Mike and its urgent! Please ask him to call me.
- Sure! Could you leave your phone number, please?
- He can reach me at 79875649900.
- Dont worry I will pass on your message.
- Thank you. Its been nice to talk to you.
- Bye.

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Tent, Ladder and Rifle (59)

Sun, 25 May 2014 01:03:00 +0400

- Asias crazy family: People can hear them even outside
- Italian dilemma: Gesture or steer a car?
- The French language: Lets not pronounce half of the word!
- Four-legged woman: What did she use the extra two for?
- Getting ready to go shopping: Make-up or pajamas?
- Virtual reality for chickens: I am the most popular chick!
- Sims: You can die there if you havent taken a shower for a long time
- Finding somebodys money: Would you give it back?
- Asia explains what picnic is: First you get a tent...

No-no, die up there! (58)

Sun, 18 May 2014 18:53:00 +0400

- I am good or I am well?
- Landysh is learning Chinese: There is no logic in this language!
- Chinese curse words: Your sister!
- Landyshs trip to France and Italy
- Paris catacombs: Pretty, what else to say?
- Do the French eat frogs on a regular basis?
- Italy: the land of food, slow waiters and too many churches
- Communicating and eating in China
- Whats the point of learning many languages when you can use only English?

You smell like wild ash! (57)

Sun, 18 May 2014 18:52:00 +0400

- Mimicking your English teacher: Hi, how are you?
- Viktor Ahn: What would you do?
- Why do figure skaters get up very quickly when they fall?
- Keeping a Christmas tree up because of a bird nest
- Drunk birds: Weve got a nest of hungry children! And youve been drinking!
- A ghost ship full of cannibal rats
- Getting over your fears
- Why it is hard to imagine Chelny near the Mediterranean
- A pet parrot is a license to grow cannabis
- Legalizing marihuana: The USA must have a point

(Pre-Intermediate) Sharp shooting pains (10)

Fri, 16 May 2014 22:41:00 +0400

"Sharp shooting pains!"
Уровень: Pre-Intermediate
Подкаст для пополнения словарного запаса и изучения разговорного английского языка

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(Pre-Intermediate) Over My Dead Body! (9)

Thu, 24 Apr 2014 22:06:00 +0400

Подкаст для пополнения словарного запаса и изучения разговорного английского языка

Dialogue:
- Sally, get into the car, we will be late.
- Could we wait a bit? Rose said she would come over. I havent seen her for ages. I miss her.
- Is she your old friend who is a chain smoker and never admits she stole my wallet last year? No, were not going to see her. Over my dead body.
- I see what you mean. Yes, she has some issues and suffers from tobacco addiction, but she doesnt do it on purpose! And last month she managed to find a good job. And you should hold grudge against her. She means well!
- I am running out of patience. Go ahead and stay but I am leaving. But you have to keep an eye on her. She might steal your wallet too!

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(Pre-Intermediate) Mind Your Own Business (8)

Thu, 24 Apr 2014 22:05:00 +0400

Подкаст для пополнения словарного запаса и изучения разговорного английского языка

Dialogue:
- Mary, whats bugging you?
- Dont ask. Mind your own business.
- Hey, take a chill pill!
- Sorry, Bob, I am very stressed.
- What are you stressed about?
- Bob, I cannot conceal it anymore from you.
- Whats wrong?
- Last month I told you that I obtained a new job.
- Yes, you did. It was a dramatic change in your life. You were just a secretary and then became an assistant financial director. This is a huge success! It even makes me a bit envious.
- No, Bob, I deceived you. I was fired and I am still unemployed. And despite all my attempts I still cant find a job.
- Why didnt you want to tell me anything about it? I am always here to support you. You can always rely on me.

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(Pre-Intermediate) I am losing my cool! (7)

Thu, 17 Apr 2014 15:53:00 +0400

Подкаст для пополнения словарного запаса и изучения разговорного английского языка

Dialogue:
- Hey, Lisa, wassup. You look under the weather, whats wrong?
- Im alright. Im just losing my cool, George. I have always put up with everything my boyfriend said or did. But now I am really angry with him!
- Why are you angry with him?
- He is only interested in his friends. He is either watching football match with them or they are somewhere in a bar together. From time to time I believe that I am the only person he is not interested in.
- Oh, stop it. I am sure that at the end of the day he prefers you to a bunch of friends.
- Agh, it makes no difference! I am throwing away his things from my apartment! He is in big trouble now! And you can rely on what I am saying. Hes gonna regret it!

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(Pre-Intermediate) Nearly Headless Nick (6)

Thu, 17 Apr 2014 15:52:00 +0400

Подкаст для пополнения словарного запаса и изучения разговорного английского языка

Dialogue:
"Hello, Nick," said Harry.
"Hello, hello," said Nearly Headless Nick.
"You look troubled, young Potter," said Nick, folding a transparent letter.
"So do you," said Harry.
"Ah," Nearly Headless Nick waved an elegant hand, "a matter of no importance. . . . Its not as though I really wanted to join. . . . Thought Id apply, but apparently I dont fulfill requirements -"
"But you would think, wouldnt you," he said suddenly, "that getting hit forty-five times in the neck with a blunt axe would qualify you to join the Headless Hunt?"
"Oh - yes," said Harry, surprised.
"I mean, nobody wishes more that my head had come off properly, I mean, it would have saved me a great deal of pain and ridicule. However -" Nearly Headless Nick shook his letter open and read furiously: "We can only accept huntsmen whose heads have parted company with their bodies. It is with the greatest regret, therefore, that I must inform you that you do not fulfill our requirements. With very best wishes, Sir Patrick Delaney-Podmore."
Nearly Headless Nick took several deep breaths and then said, in a far calmer tone, "So - whats bothering you? Anything I can do?"

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(Pre-Intermediate) Too little, too late (5)

Thu, 17 Apr 2014 15:50:00 +0400

Подкаст для пополнения словарного запаса и изучения разговорного английского языка

Dialogue:
- Are there free tables?
- Yes, sir. Come this way please.
- Finally we have some time to eat out, James. Its brilliant that you came up with an idea to visit a Mexican restaurant. Im looking forward to this meal!
- Im glad you approve, Sarah.
- Are you ready to order?
- Yes, Ill try chicken breast. The menu says its covered with chili sauce. How hot is it?
- Its Mexican cuisine, sir, so pretty hot. You have to watch out for spices.
- Ill have something else then. Can you recommend anything?
- Well, why dont you have a steak? Its our speciality.
- I wonder if I can have it served with vegetables?
- How do you like your steak done?
- Rare, almost raw. And two glasses of red wine, please.
- What would you like, maam?
- Ill have the same. And could I have clean cutlery? This fork and knife are dirty.
- Of course, maam. Ill bring it to you in no time!

- We have been waiting for hours, James! It pisses me off!
- Compared to other restaurants, this one is the worst so far. They should definitely improve their service.
- The waiter hasnt turned up for an hour already. Never even approached us.
- But Im not sure I can get by without a meal today, Sarah. I will die of hunger! Look! They are bringing you your cutlery.
- Too little, too late. We are leaving this place! I cant put up with this service anymore. Lets go.

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(Pre-Intermediate) Infinitive and verb + -ing (4)

Thu, 17 Apr 2014 15:49:00 +0400

"Infinitive and verb + -ing"
Уровень: Pre-Intermediate
Подкаст для пополнения словарного запаса и изучения разговорного английского языка

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(Pre-Intermediate) Fishing for compliments (3)

Thu, 17 Apr 2014 15:47:00 +0400

Подкаст для пополнения словарного запаса и изучения разговорного английского языка

Dialogue:
- Hello, Mark, how are things? You look unhappy and exhausted.
- Oh, Sonya, my life is so complicated!
- Whats wrong?
- I am a middle-aged man who lives in a dormitory. I didnt live up to my parents expectations. I cant score a good job. And I cant find a compatible girlfriend. My life is a mess.
- Oh, no, its not true. Youre just fishing for compliments.
- No, really. On top of that, I cant give up smoking and I know I should cut down on sweets. I cant even persuade myself to go to the gym once a week.
- You are being to harsh on yourself. You are a very attractive guy and a good mixer. And you shouldnt let other peoples opinion offend you.
- Youre right. I suppose I need to find a good role model... Maybe Chuck Norris. Yep, thats right. I want to be like Chuck Norris.

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(Pre-Intermediate) I think, I suppose, I believe (2)

Thu, 17 Apr 2014 15:45:00 +0400

Подкаст для пополнения словарного запаса и изучения разговорного английского языка

Dialogue:
- John, shall we go out? I believe we spend too much time working.
- Oh, no. To be honest, I would like to stay at home tonight.
- You told me yesterday that you wanted to go to the cinema as far as I remember.
- Oh, yes, I suppose so. But it seems to me they dont show "The Hunger Games" any more.
- I presume we will find something interesting to watch. By the way after the film we can go that fantastic sushi restaurant near here!
- I guess. Oh, ok, Im in.

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(Pre-Intermediate) Couch Potato (1)

Thu, 17 Apr 2014 15:38:00 +0400

Подкаст для пополнения словарного запаса и изучения разговорного английского языка

Dialogue:
- Mary! Mary! Let me in!
- Who is it?
- Its me, Jane! Let me in!
- Ok-ok.
- Why are you at home? Its weekend. You must go out.
- I dont want to go out.
- What are you doing here? Are you watching TV or surfing the Internet?
- Is it bad? I just get a kick out of it.
- Its a waste of time! You are a real couch potato.
- Get used to it.

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Olympic Special: Butt’n’Ball (56)

Tue, 18 Feb 2014 17:03:00 +0400

- LINGVISTOV.RU conquers the world with China
- Read my neck! Landysh started learning Chinese
- Opening ceremony of the Sochi Olympic Games 2014: Did you like it?
- TATU?! Really?!
- Amazing side of the Olympic Games: Sportsmen and their achievements
- The incomprehensible game ever: The history of curling
- New game of buttnball: Grow your butts to win!
- No North Koreans at the Olympic Games but there are some in space!
- Its good to be developed

Episode 55 — Thailand Special: Asia in Asia (55)

Sat, 18 Jan 2014 19:47:00 +0400

- Thailand Special! Asias Thai vacations
- All you need to know about Thailand: Tips and facts
- Tuk-tuk: Whos there?
- Thai people and their King: Possible role model for Russia?
- Non-aggressive religion: Landysh is officially a Buddhist
- Do not touch Thai women! And check if its really a woman btw.
- Khun Asia and how Thai people greet each other with "why???"
- Dont touch Thai peoples heads!
- Guide to Tsunami survival
- Thai monkey party: Lingvistov team is going!

Zubarzha (54)

Thu, 09 Jan 2014 01:23:00 +0400

- Happy New Year 2014!
- The best of Russian cuisine: Salads with a lot of mayo
- Ridiculous Olympic Games 2014: How does Sochi take it?
- Buying presents for New Year: Landyshs new awesome rucksack
- Santa Claus is a virgin
- Bibliotherapy: How to treat depression with the help of books
- Does your name determine your destiny?
- An army of hedgehogs: Kill all the slugs!
- The adventures of Lola and Asia "The Bloody Path to Satori" - Part II

Males like Puppies (53)

Thu, 02 Jan 2014 21:09:00 +0400

- Landysh overslept and Asia being upset with one of her students
- Asias secret admirer: How to attract girls attention
- Bad surprise: All the best males are already taken!
- Great business idea! How to make money if you live on the first floor
- Weird artworks that were actually sold
- New York souvenir: Your own piece of garbage
- What is real art and what is a fraud?
- Asias going on a vacation: The best of Egypt!

Boogaddiction (52)

Mon, 30 Dec 2013 20:03:00 +0400

- Landysh is all about discipline: Waking up later than usual
- Hi Diana! Hello! We know that youre up!
- Addictions: There are no ex-addicts
- Knowing the difference: Appreciating the fact that you dont smoke
- Food addiction: Eating food while watching the fly
- Building a house out of food
- Overreading a book and feeling bad about it
- Addiction to TV shows, books, social networks and addiction to nothing
- The Romans demand Brad and Angelina!
- Weird students: Demanding the teachers full attention

The Two Eiffel Towers (1)

Thu, 28 Nov 2013 08:55:00 +0400

- Vacations of Asias dreams: What can be more exciting than Egypt?
- What Asias name means and "Khorosho" in Arabic
- Sightseeing or creating your own sights
- Olonets: The city of the famous burnt bridge
- Gullible friends and neighbors with sense of humor
- A Letter from Fred - "Sweet Lorraine": The story of true love
- Daniil smoking and using a type writer while listening to the story?
- The adventures of Lola and Asia "The Bloody Path to Satori" - Part I

I have this strange relationship with my dentist (50)

Sun, 17 Nov 2013 22:33:00 +0400

- Being sick in St.Petersburg: The meaning of true romance
- Favourite insect: Flies
- There aint no introduction again!
- Best season for work: Waste of temperature!
- Visiting your dentist too often and lack of romance
- Asia calms down her dentist: Im fine! The pain will go!
- Wiggly roads in Scotland
- Cunning policemen in Tatarstan: Evil
- Hand signals: Giving a finger and blowing smoke in somebodys face
- Visualization: Can we visualize everything?
- Our "Finish me Story" competition is finished! You can read all short stories on our website!

Shortage of BOMZh’i (49)

Thu, 14 Nov 2013 09:38:00 +0400

- Sounding cheery: Teachers hypocrisy
- Storm in St.Petersburg: Flying banners, destroyed bus stops
- Curious men peeking into Landyshs room
- Would you like to be in psychotherapy: Doctors or friends?
- Wonders of Tvorozheniki
- Panic: When do you lose control?
- Unfair! Peculiarities of driving exams in Russia
- Sochi Olympics and WTF is University Games???
- Kamaz: The best place to work!

Deranged Masturbation (48)

Fri, 01 Nov 2013 16:50:00 +0400

- A good excuse for not jogging
- Daniil is leaving for Finland - the country not that rich in beards
- Setting high expectations: In 20 years we will feel sad and ashamed...
- Pyramids, looters and how Russian intelligentsia will probably defend Hermitage
- Buying stolen artifacts and paintings: Perverts
- Reasons for admittance into a mental hospital in 1890s: Novel reading and bad whiskey
- Your favorite ice-cream flavour can say a lot about you
- What not to donate to a thrift shop
- Apple! Call us! We will dedicate the whole podcast to advertising your products, if you pay to us
- Get your own corpse wax: Instruction manual
- Getting over Lenin: It is time.

I Like Cockroaches! (47)

Sat, 26 Oct 2013 21:25:00 +0400

- Nobel Prize week: Theres hope for all of us
- Why Lingvistov have to be nominated for Nobel Peace Prize
- Freezing oneself to be revived in future and hoping for the best
- Come to Chelny and we will freeze you just for 100$!
- Whats your sexy voice?
- Surrogate mothers: immoral or heroic?
- Will you marry a person twice old than you are? Pugacheva-Galkin dilemma
- Russian conservatism: Government only makes it worse
- Angelina Jolie brand: Lips and legs
- "Finish me Story Competition" still continues! Send your entries to: info@lingvistov.ru

Vive la Révolution! (46)

Sat, 26 Oct 2013 21:24:00 +0400

- St. Petersburg, common cold and sexy voices
- Asia and her Winona Ryder craze
- Losing and finding voice
- Teachers are rioting in Brazil! Can we do the same here in Russia?
- Russian teachers: dedicated losers
- Asia, you were heard: Every single voice counts
- Star Trek economics in Switzerland: A 3000$ check per month for everyone!
- Are there criminals in Switzerland?

According to the Accordion (45)

Fri, 18 Oct 2013 14:32:00 +0400

- Winter mood: Its really cold...
- Siris birthday: We are ready to provide our voices for Russian Siri
- Siri has a day off: Stop your egoistic requests!
- Moldable memory: We can never preserve the original memory
- What can you remember the best? Faces, names, number, smells...
- Marrying a Boston street
- How to clear the hard drive in your head? Theres not enough space!
- Listeners questions: If you could learn one random skill what would it be?
- British and Russian superstitions: Zastolye and hitting men with boots

Crappuccino (44)

Tue, 15 Oct 2013 19:52:00 +0400

- No milk for my coffee: Starbucks vs. Dunkin Donuts
- It tastes good! But if you eat it everyday...
- Landysh lives in dread of winter
- Tablets for your child: What are they really good for?
- Should we teach children typing before handwriting?
- How often do you actually write?
- Digital art and traditional art: Are they of the same value?
- Surprise!!! McDonalds plans to give your child a life lesson
- Childhood disappointments and our Kinder Surprise craze

The Result of Moscow Olympiada (43)

Wed, 09 Oct 2013 16:09:00 +0400

- Tanzania lake that could turn you into stone
- Your favorite abandoned places and heads of dolls on the bottom of the ocean
- Listening to audio recordings of mentally-ill people on a regular basis
- Lobotomy: sounds like fun!
- Getting in and out of psychiatric hospital: How many of us are actually mentally healthy?
- Do not annoy your neighbors: Crazy people
- Pennywise in England: Who actually likes clowns?
- Adopting a child from other country: Does ethnicity matter?
- Ivan the result of Moscow Olympic Games
- Racism in Russia: Mikhail Zadornov on drugs
- Octonber 3rd 8pm MSK - Lingvistov Webinar on English. For participation write to: info@lingvistov.ru.

Titty Twister (42)

Sat, 05 Oct 2013 16:24:00 +0400

- A sleeping man in Daniils room...
- Landysh is a hamster! Winter is coming, brace yourselves
- Pussy Riot: What was the purpose?
- Prison conditions in Russia: Damn, we have no experience...
- Love Story: Putin and the majority of Russian population
- National Poetry Day in England and Lingvistov Prose Day!
- Fighting bad manners with poetry
- Subway? Metropolitan? Underground?
- Questions from our listeners! Send them in to info@lingvistov.ru
- Seductive mice and the thrill of the chase
- Men nipples: What the hell?! Why do they have nipples?!
- October 10th, 8pm MSK - free Lingvistov Webinar! Join us, email at info@lingvistov.ru
- "Finish me Story" competition - Episode 2: ссылка

Frogbusters (41)

Fri, 27 Sep 2013 18:49:00 +0400

- Multitasking: Asia is doing exercises while podcasting
- Snow in Moscow: The sooner it begins, the sooner it ends
- Good old days: Even terrorists are not when they used to be...
- Terrorist attacks in Kenya: No Russians are harmed, phew!
- Beware of the enemy! Greenpeace or pirates?
- Banned books week: are there any books that have to be banned?
- Caught abusing drugs at least once? Youre screwed.
- Whats the point of prisons? Discrimination against criminals
- What kind of crime could you commit?
- Animal prints are not permitted in the British zoo
- A frog flies with NASA rocket! And how the French hunt down frogs
- Stalking rats: Lead me to the Wonderland!

Audiobook — Jezzy by Daniil Yakovenko (40)

Fri, 27 Sep 2013 18:45:00 +0400

"Jezzy" is a short story written by Daniil Yakovenko. It tells about a student whose daring fantasies seemed to turn into reality but in truth turned into a nightmare.

The text is read by Akhmetzyanova Landysh
Illustrations by Akhmetzyanova Landysh

The Secret Society of Railway Station Sleepers (40)

Mon, 23 Sep 2013 19:59:00 +0400

- Conscience is the engine of progress
- Weird weather in St. Petersburg: no rain, sunshine and comfortable temperatures
- Bass or base: another one of special Landyshisms
- Daniil at the rock concert: push, pull and throw!
- Sleeping in a train station: Survival guide in major cities
- We are making a short film! Next year...
- Mongolian shamans in Northern China: Have you been to a fortuneteller?
- A parrot that can predict your future: One reason to go to Kazan
- Gypsies: they can steal your soul if you look them in the eye...
- Do you believe in destiny?
- Past, present and future walked into a bar...
- Will your dog notice if you are replaced by a robot?
- Asia ruins all that we believed in: The mystery of Hatiko
- We are launching a series of webinars for professionals about English! Write to us to join in: info@lingvistov.ru

Social Network for Dictators (39)

Fri, 13 Sep 2013 13:59:00 +0400

- Landysh is ill and Asia has a brand new small dog in her house
- Why old people talk about their illnesses
- Why we mimic speech of the people we talk to
- Synesthesia: who the hell invented this word?!!
- Hearing music while cutting bread: pleasant or tiring?
- Depression: merits and drawbacks
- Psychology: how weird are you?
- What you have to do to provoke Landysh
- Dictators: Kim Jong-Un has a baby! Awwwwww!
- American woman shoves her husband off a cliff: He deserved it
- Finally! Landysh will save our planet! She has superpowers!
- The Case of the Lost Sausage - Part IV the last one: Read the whole story and check out the illustrations: ссылка

Roxxxy the Sexrobot (38)

Tue, 10 Sep 2013 18:57:00 +0400

- Growing food inside your belly: Just plant some seeds!
- Professor Yakovenko: Daniil is going to teach English at university
- Possible war in Syria: No invading, just a bit of bombing
- Sex with robots: will you want to have a robot boyfriend/girlfriend?
- Marriages with robots, bridges or the Berlin Wall and dating dogs
- Gay parades in St.Petersburg: They are so lovable!
- Courting: Is it necessary for men in a relationship?
- Guest workers in Russia: Is there really a problem?
- Mexicans in the USA: They are a friendly, partying and hard-working nation!
- Racism in America and Russia
- The Case of the Lost Sausage - Part V

Landyshism (37)

Thu, 29 Aug 2013 17:47:00 +0400

- Whos knocking on your door? Aliens or the government?
- Would you like to sell your reputation?
- Your golden years will pass: We are being optimistical
- Landyshs birthday: Interview with her this week
- How many dresses Landysh has and how wonderful it is to wake up to the sounds of crows
- Talking pets: giving out where you hide your money
- Squirrels: how do you pronounce it?
- Weird people you meet on trains
- Driving trams, motorcycles and partying in a personal plane
- Petrozavodsk - St.Petersburg - Naberezhnye Chelny non-stop train
- Which person would you like to meet? Dead or alive
- Past and future: enhancing your body
- English club live in St. Petersburg! 2pm MSK in "Ukrop", come and see us

Pathoanalogoanatom (36)

Sat, 24 Aug 2013 21:51:00 +0400

- Asia showing surprise, dog art and Daniil early in the morning
- Cloud atlas: Scots, the idea of future and audiobooks
- We have recorded new short stories! Stay tuned!
- Libya Egypt-style: Were the States and Europe aware of what was going to happen?
- Talking about Kevin: Why do people go on shooting sprees in the USA?
- Pigeon apocalypse: I have warned you, man! Havent you seen my pigeons?!!
- Too many "universities" in Russia: Fraud, unemployment and bad education
- What major would you choose: We want to be like Dana Scully!
- Pathologist is a specialist who specialises in pathologies
- You and the bodies: so romantic!
- The Case of the Lost Sausage: Part IV
- Restless: I like the German word... and I forgot it.

Unumbrerralled (35)

Mon, 19 Aug 2013 15:16:00 +0400

- Asia, Daniil, Landysh and a professional microphone together in St.Petersburg!
- Fighting the enemy: Do not mess with Lingvistov! Time to engage the Lingvistov army.
- To hell with introduction... again
- Conflict in Kashmir: what did you do when you were 14?
- Everybody knows crazy Lena: did you have a crazy friend in your childhood?
- Make your children create their own toys!
- Abominable dragonflies: avoid eye-contact at all costs
- Near death-experiences: its all pure chemistry
- Life after death: belief in reincarnation and belief in nothingness
- Devision by zero: lets look at it from the point of view of a chair
- Glowing bunnies: alas, you cant switch it off!
- The Case of the Lost Sausage - Part III

A Hidden Breast-Wanter (34)

Thu, 08 Aug 2013 15:23:00 +0400

- Landysh has a super professional mic this week! We are one step closer to being proper podcasters!
- Daniil got partially sunburnt and exhausted his drinking capacity
- Extreme service: inhale smoke, drink and get hit with a bat!
- To hell with introduction!
- You are not my friend anymore! The USA and Russia are going their separate ways.
- Romantic adventure of Edward Snowden and comfortable life of Julian Assange
- Mummy in an attic: a genuine relic or grandfathers prank?
- Practical guide to taking a brain out: Live and learn
- Male breasts: Bob from Fight Club and rifles instead of a surgery
- Choosing bras for Daniil: the best birthday present ever!
- Russians stealing roads and bridges: Random and ridonculous
- The Case of the Lost Sausage - Part II
- Is your cat right-pawed or left-pawed and how to baptise a cat

Memento Mori (33)

Thu, 01 Aug 2013 21:48:00 +0400

- No other story today! Its Daniils birthday!!!
- What do we actually know about Daniil - some unknown facts revealed exclusively for Lingvistov podcast!
- Spontaneous interview with Daniil
- First recollections from childhood: blue baby bouncers and kindergarteners
- First school teachers, bad decisions and how the Writing began
- Parents are not our biggest fans: how Asias parents evaluated her first attempts to write
- Do you ever dream and think in English?
- The dark side of birthdays: 21 was not a good number
- Karaoke: were going to sing trashy Russian chanson
- The process of writing: ideas, situations, first sentences and titles
- New story!!! The Case of the Lost Sausage - Part I
- Good news: bearded communities and our doodles spreading all over the Internet like a plague!

Audiobook — The Unadulterated Cat by Terry Pratchett Part IV (32)

Mon, 29 Jul 2013 10:13:00 +0400

The Unadulterated Cat by Terry Pratchett is a book written to promote what Pratchett terms the Real Cat, a cat who urinates in the flowerbeds, rips up the furniture, and eats frogs, mice and sundry other small animals. The opposite of the Real Cat is the Fizzy Keg Cat, a well-behaved and bland kind, as seen on cat food advertisements.

Enjoy this audiobook brought to you by LINGVISTOV.

Author of the story - Terry Pratchett We do not own the rights to this book.
The text is read by Akhmetzyanova Landysh
Illustrations by Akhmetzyanova Landysh

Audiobook — The Unadulterated Cat by Terry Pratchett Part III (32)

Mon, 29 Jul 2013 10:12:00 +0400

Audiobook — The Unadulterated Cat by Terry Pratchett Part II (32)

Mon, 29 Jul 2013 10:11:00 +0400

Audiobook — The Unadulterated Cat by Terry Pratchett Part I (32)

Mon, 29 Jul 2013 10:09:00 +0400

Head between Legs (32)

Thu, 25 Jul 2013 13:19:00 +0400

- Achtung! We keep on hearing voices!!!
- Conspiracy theory: Daniil is driving us crazy with radio or television...
- St.Petersburg weather update: its like October - the summer is over
- Check out "The Adventures of a Bearded Man" with our wonderful illustrations: ссылка
- No-serious-news podcast this week!
- Vampire graves: whose head is it between your legs?!
- What makes a vampire a vampire? And hitting a vampire with wooden sticks!
- Drunken vampires and other efficient ways to get rid of vampires
- Life too exciting? Watch entire train journeys in YouTube!
- The age of small attention spans: the opponents of short video creators
- The beauty of Russian railway: a lot of not normal Russians, vodka, and dirty socks
- Two people having the same hallucination: Should we start worrying about our mental health?
- Thank you voices!

The Big BOOM! (31)

Thu, 18 Jul 2013 09:15:00 +0400

- In Finland, youd better have a cell phone if nature calls: Use SMS to unlock public toilets
- Cause for celebration: Asia is 100% ours!
- Its always good to have something to procrastinate on
- Have you missed North Korea? And how is it possible to hide two planes on a cargo ship?
- Mass hallucinations: Landysh and Asia are hearing voices! Can you hear them as well?
- Getting stuck on a tree while riding a balloon powered lawn-chair
- City tour in a bed: or is it just another strategy to increase population?
- What aliens might look like: jellyfish, cockroaches, or just like us?
- Raining glass: Get a metal umbrella now!
- If we looked like reptiles: I met that guy, he had such a fantastic tail!
- Extraterrestrial and local cockroaches: social structures and parallel universes
- Global warming: See level rise and future storms in the 22 century
- Lets blame America! Poor donkeys with backache and in need of therapy
- Beardology: Fear the Beard! And how can a woman grow a beard
- The Adventures of a Bearded Man in a Beardless World, Part 5 and Epilogue

Fish’s Poo (30)

Mon, 15 Jul 2013 13:12:00 +0400

- This weeks special! Landyshs contagious laughter
- Asia is back in Saint-Petersburg and Russia is spending too much money on sporting events
- Check out Asias and Landyshs interviews on our website and dont forget to comment them! ссылка
- Surprise for Asia: Spontaneous introduction and Landysh being a torturer today
- Massacre in Egypt: Soldiers shooting at demonstrators
- Russian army: what would happen if no country in the world had an army and nuclear weapons
- Asia wants to go to the army: our very own future G.I. Jane
- Kremlin buys typewriters: a question of security or do they just like the sound of keys?
- Typing or writing by hand: vegetarians, insecterians and hydroponiacs
- Beardology: A beard-second or how fast does a beard grow?
- The Adventures of a Bearded Man in a Beardless World, Part 4
- Please write to us at info@lingvistov.ru!

Are you ever going to stop it?! (29)

Thu, 04 Jul 2013 10:03:00 +0400

- What makes Landysh happy: the company of Daniil and Asia and a good hookah
- Visiting a proper bar: smelly bearded men and bear... or green tea for Landysh?
- Gay and straight cats: I dont care for them as long as they do not get married
- Daniils future in reconnaissance and his topshelf poem about the Financial Service
- Snowden case: what is the price of freedom and security? or lets talk about acts of chair
- Zombies in the animal world: popping eyes of a ladybug
- Zombies vs. Vampires: dead or still alive? and why are world is freaked out by infections
- Lets build an artificial whale and swim in the ocean!
- Asias trip to Chelny: she and Lola enjoying the book and air-conditioning on the backseat
- Beardology: Fidel Castros magical beard
- The Adventures of a Bearded Man in a Beardless World, Part 3
- Dont forget to visit our website ссылка The best language learning website ever!

A Catter in the Rye (28)

Sat, 22 Jun 2013 09:43:00 +0400

- News Alert! Daniil shaved off his beard!
- Asias future adventure: from St. Petersburg to Chelny by car
- Landysh going hard core with her diet and turning into a plant
- Protests in Brazil and Turkey: the standing man protesting and too "high" bus fares
- Differences in mentality and our high limits of tolerance: soon well have the second October revolution!
- Cold and heat determine the political regime in your country
- Yes, we cat! Morris the Cat, a perfect candidate for mayor
- Daniil the Catter: Your guide to interaction with cats
- Asia and Lolita: talking to your dog about philosophical aspects of life
- Algae as an alternative energy source: not only renewable, but endless, as well as beautiful
- Beardology: Get paid for your beard! And catvertising
- The Adventures of a Bearded Man in a Beardless World, Part 2
- Philosophy behind the third knee: lets all go bald!
- "Dear Listeners!" is our new catch phrase!
- Landysh ready to experiment with something more adventurous than hookah
- Check out our Doodle Contest: ссылка

Anna Who Disabeard (27)

Sun, 16 Jun 2013 15:45:00 +0400

- LINGVISTOV Team finally together! Asia, Daniil and Landysh are in Saint-Petersburg
- Landysh: a bad guide who talks too much and gets easily distracted
- LINGVISTOV future plans: Driving Durov out of his Nevskiy office and settling there!
- Landysh and a hookah: Sitting in a smoky room and doodling
- Message from Rhyne Curton in Charlotte, NC: Our American listener and dear friend!
- Tatar-Russian-English or how you can kill Landysh with your bad pronunciation
- Unrest in Turkey: Getting the news from the protesters on the street
- Americans and Thanksgiving: Turkey pies, turkey donuts, turkey hotdogs, and turkey flavoured coffee
- Oh baby soup: Eating a cucumber and drinking milk
- Supervision: The mystery of ultraviolet light and x-raying babies
- Beardology: Why women find bearded men hot
- The Adventures of a Bearded Man in a Beardless World, Part 1
- Our priority destination: McDonalds with hookahs in Egypt
- Check out our Doodle Contest: ссылка

Apple Till Four (26)

Thu, 06 Jun 2013 18:42:00 +0400

- Girly Podcast this week!
- Landysh marking her territory with lilies of the valley
- Lingvistov team travelling as an entity and reading Bible for an educational purpose
- An episode of LINGVISTOV Podcast without Daniil... we are lonely
- Romantic story about zombies: or where Twilight creators draw their inspiration from
- Asia in Finland: Wonderland where its comfortable to be anyone
- Finnish Bob Dylan fans and internal invasion of Finland by the Russians
- Charm of bearded women and how a woman can grow a beard
- Beauty that frightens and people who feel comfortable with their bodies
- Mom, am I beautiful? You have to face the truth as early as possible
- Losing weight: sports, dieting and moderation
- Addiction: the key is in realising youre hooked
- Landyshs special diet: eat as many apples as you like till 4 pm!
- Being vegan and doing exercises while youre pregnant
- Doodle Contest: vote and submit your entries - ссылка

Interview: Crazy Algerians (25)

Tue, 04 Jun 2013 17:16:00 +0400

- Interview with Mus from magnificent Algeria!
- Why a foreigner has a profile in vkontakte: Friends and music
- Language issues in Algeria: speaking French like the French
- A love story between France and Algeria and the Arab spring
- Algerian president: dead or alive?
- Strategy of the Algerian government: not to piss off everybody
- Marseille - the 49th arrondissement of Algeria
- African markets! Colours, spices, sand and the most beautiful sunsets!
- Rich Algerian cuisine and bread cooked in the sand
- Big Arab families and difficult life of people in Algeria
- Cheap work force: intelligent people doing manual work in developed countries
- Women in Algeria and why you mustnt take photos of local people
- Weird Easter traditions and dangerous Algerian celebrations
- Going to France by a boat and burning visas
- Colonized brain of the Algerians: poor people of the rich country

Deja Vu (25)

Fri, 24 May 2013 22:09:00 +0400

- Repeating the introduction and emotions after forgetting to switch on the recorder
- Suicide in Notre-Dame de Paris: killing oneself to send the message against same-sex marriages
- Why gay people marry? It turns out for the same reasons straight people do.
- Is suicidal behaviour a disease? And is it a weakness to commit one?
- Anti-depressants: Landysh is living up to an image of a proper artist
- Aldous Huxleys experiments with drugs and how the world profited from it
- Blackholes can actually be wormholes: would you take a risk?
- Travelling through the Universe and how "The Sliders" is the best Tv show ever!
- Immortality: you get to be either a cyborg or a vampire, no other options available! And no zombies
- LINGVISTOV Doodle Contest: vote and submit funny captions and maybe youll win our T-Shirts! ссылка

Porn Tavern (24)

Sat, 18 May 2013 10:45:00 +0400

- Podcasting and drinking: A unique experience for all the members of Lingvistov team
- How to train your guests: Want to step on a clean floor? - Mop it yourself first
- Spy news! Weird American spies and why spies in reality never resemble James Bond
- Celebrity news: Angelina Jolie and her breasts
- Whos your favourite actress?
- Disadvantages of modern energy resources: birds being killed mercilessly by windmills
- Have you been pushkining? Lingvistov podcast finding new use for existing words
- A grave mistake averted or porn on the table with a cake
- Beginners vs. Elemetary - bloody massacre!
- Real he-man Whiskey toothpaste: how can you resist?
- Destroying significant historical sites and using cathedrals as deadhouses
- The Adventures of Kim Jong-un, the Brilliant Comrade: The end of the Saga - read the whole story on our website: ссылка
- LINGVISTOV Doodle Contest: create funny captions and win exclusive prizes: ссылка

Interview with Syd Mead (23)

Sat, 11 May 2013 18:25:00 +0400

Asia interviews Syd Mead, visual futurist and concept artist, best known for his designs for science-fiction films such as Blade Runner, Aliens and Tron. Of his work, Mead once moved to comment: "Ive called science fiction reality ahead of schedule". Mead was born in Saint Paul, Minnesota on July 18, 1933. He graduated from high school in Colorado Springs, Colorado in 1951. After serving a three-year enlistment in the US Army, Syd Mead continued on to the Art Center School in Los Angeles, where he graduated in June, 1959. He was recruited by the Ford Motor Companys Advanced Styling Studio. Mead left the studio after two years to accept a variety of assignments to illustrate books and catalogues for large corporate entities such as United States Steel. In 1970, he launched Syd Mead, Inc. Syd Mead lives and works in Pasadena, California.
Syd Mead kindly agreed to give this interview to Asia.

One Giant Freckle (23)

Sat, 11 May 2013 16:50:00 +0400

Dear listeners, we are deeply sorry for the quality of the first part of this podcast and the general lack of discipline.

- We started our own Youtube channel! Check it out: ссылка
- Serious news: Missiles struck military facilities near Damascus
- Nannies study martial arts: 65-year-old ladies who know karate
- The happiest man in Britain: blue-eyed grey-haired married teacher called Steve who lives close to Edinburgh and wears glasses
- Happiest and unhappiest names: perfect names for Daniils future children
- Threats to the Artic Region: acidification of its waters and overfishing
- The Arctic University: Landysh is moving there to study bearded English-speaking bachelors in their natural habitat
- Knowledge of English as the top requirement for a future partner: should you teach the candidate or should the ability be already there?
- International day of Star Wars: May the Forth be with you!
- Insulting Ukranians: you will not write to us anyway.
- In the Artic Region Canada rules! And weird Canadian accent.

Beardology (22)

Fri, 03 May 2013 22:50:00 +0400

- Landysh and Asia finally seeing each others faces and waiting for Daniil to join them in St.Peterburg!
- Brawl in Venezuelan parlament: our Duma looks quite tame in comparison
- Lenin zombie! Seeing dead people and the purpose of embalmed world leaders
- Climate change: can anything be done to prevent it or is it really imminent?
- Future Disasters American-style: will we live to see anything spectacular?
- Perfect gift for a man: A shirt that can be worn for 100 days without washing
- F-Word: a universal word that can be used in any situation
- An OFFice job: dont you ever have one!
- Beards are hot! Landyshs strange obsession with beards
- The science of beardology: theory and practice of growing the beard of your dreams
- The Adventures of Kim Jong-Un, Part 8 - we think its coming to an end because North Korea are pussies!
- Happy Labour Day and write to us: info@lingvistov.ru.

Death by a Beard! (21)

Fri, 26 Apr 2013 20:54:00 +0400

- Asia brings knowledge into this illiterate world while Daniil is chewing on a piece of cabbage
- Our lives are spoiled with work: Mondays suck as well as having a proper job
- You should always do what you like: our friend Tatyana Petrova and her fantastic project
- North Korea news! Kim Jong-Un wants to join the nuclear club
- Having trouble getting out of sleep and falling asleep while riding a bycicle
- Happy childhood: friendly girls with kitchen knives going for a walk
- Who throws rubbish that now orbits the Earth and how can we remove it?
- Another way to go: choose to get thrown out on the Earths orbit instead of being buried or cremated!
- What do you do in an elevator? And why are there mirrors in elevators?
- Guns in Russia: are we mentally and historically prone to gun possession
- Bizarre ways to go: something for everyone.
- Asia is rioting against the system!
- Write to us! Send your emails to info@lingvistov.ru

Audiobook: Dear Husband by Joyce Carol Oates (20)

Sun, 21 Apr 2013 22:00:00 +0400

"Dear Husband" by Joyce Carol Oates is her attempt to get inside the head of Andrea Yates, who killed her children in a much-publicized case in Texas. The narrators ramblings are a predictable mishmash, evidence of battered wife syndrome and born-again lunacy: "Jesus said to me, It is true that you are a bad mother but there is a way: If thine eye offend thee, pluck it out. " Dramatic, intensely rendered, and always provocative "Dear Husband" provides an unsettling and fascinating look into the mysterious heart of America.

Author of the story - Joyce Carol Oates We do not own the rights to this short story.
The text is read by Akhmetzyanova Landysh
Illustrations by Akhmetzyanova Landysh

Pessimistic Future (20)

Thu, 18 Apr 2013 18:50:00 +0400

- Shopping as a subconscious purpose: If its beautiful and useless, you have to have it!
- Serious news: Earthquake in Iran, and why anything happening in the US is more important than major disasters anywhere else in the world
- Mystery of North Korean female soldiers: Why do they wear high-heels? Our hypotheses
- Medical advice from LINGVISTOV: Love your kidneys.
- One-way ticket to Mars: want to lose your bone and muscle mass? Apply now!
- Bright future for humanity: If you get too fat you can buy another body! Synthetic bodies and fully sedentary lifestyles of future generations
- Slightly tubby Bradford Batman charged with burgling a garage
- Who is your favourite superhero? Angelina Jolie of course!
- Modern version of Alice in Wonderland: Following giant rats
- Time-shifting: quit your job for a medieval or soviet piece of paradise!
- Part 6 of the Adventures of Kim Jong-Un, the Brilliant Comrade
- Wait for the LINGVISTOV video and follow everything thats going on on our website: lingvistov.ru!

Audiobook: Dear God, know me, from Adam by Dom Conlon (19)

Tue, 16 Apr 2013 16:06:00 +0400

Audiobook "Dear God, know me, from Adam" by modern writer Dom Conlon gives a new funny interpretation of a well-known fable about the birth of the Universe. Besides it is about how parents love their children and let them go... about free will and how even our bad choices are better than blind acceptance.
Enjoy this audiobook brought to you by LINGVISTOV.

Author of the story - Dom Conlon We do not own the rights for this short story.
You can read the whole text here: ссылка
The text is read by Akhmetzyanova Landysh
Illustrations by Akhmetzyanova Landysh

Audiobook: Last Frontier by Daniil Yakovenko Part II (19)

Mon, 15 Apr 2013 22:43:00 +0400

"Last Frontier" is a short story written by Daniil Yakovenko. Its second part reveals a conversation between Roger Steelson and an extraterrestrial Jayar Narah Acri about what humankind has been searching for throughout the universe and still thinks it failed to find.
Enjoy Part II of the short story brought to you by LINGVISTOV.

Author of the story - Daniil Yakovenko
The text is read by Akhmetzyanova Landysh
Illustrations by Akhmetzyanova Landysh

Berlin, Berlin! (19)

Thu, 11 Apr 2013 19:46:00 +0400

- Life on a sofa: Asias dog Lola is afraid of floors and happy Daniil surrounded by a considerable number of pets.
- Landysh in Germany: ruining stereotypes, bad weather and unruly Berliners.
- What makes Landysh happy: seeing or rather hearing a real Scotsman.
- Two bombs found in Berlin while Landysh was there: coincidence? I dont think so.
- The Wall: separation of the nation and differences between Germany and the Soviet Union
- Russian tourists abroad: why do you have no desire to approach them when you see them?
- Feeling proud of our nation! And Russians with superpowers on the roads.
- Eddie Izzard in Berlin: a hilarious man on high heels.
- North Korea being badass: nuclear tests, constant threats, prospects of a new war and a good blackmailing strategy
- Part 5 of the Adventures of Kim Jong-Un, the Brilliant Comrade
- New single by Psy! We hope its going to be a duo with King Jong-Un
- Dog therapy: so tell me about your childhood?
- Write to us! info@lingvistov.ru

Operation Acoustic Kitty (18)

Tue, 26 Mar 2013 16:54:00 +0400

- Berlin is waiting for Landysh! Souvenirs, flags on Reichstag and Landysh as a special correspondent from Germany
- Rebels in Central African Republic: dictatorships and similarities with Russia
- Operation Acoustic Kitty: Sadist soviet spies, untrainable cats and pets who see ghosts
- Fat arrogant despicable Russian parliamentarians and Putin with his Kalina
- Image of wealthy people: stealing becomes a virtue in Russia
- Zombie Survival Classes: we are sending Daniil to Oregon! He makes a great zombie
- Best weapons against zombies: a bat, an axe and a shovel!
- Placebo effect: Placebo music, fake magical pills and gipsies
- Part 4 of the Adventures of Kim Jong-un, the Brilliant Comrade
- Dear listeners! write to us: info@lingvistov.ru and tell us where you listen to our podcast

Audiobook: Last Frontier by Daniil Yakovenko Part I (17)

Thu, 21 Mar 2013 14:45:00 +0400

"Last Frontier" is a short story written by Daniil Yakovenko. Its first part speaks about young Roger Steelson who meets a friendly stranger in a bar. This stranger has a funny accent and definitely a story to tell.
Enjoy Part I of the short story brought to you by LINGVISTOV.

Author of the story - Daniil Yakovenko
The text is read by Akhmetzyanova Landysh
Illustrations by Akhmetzyanova Landysh

Laugh Time (17)

Thu, 21 Mar 2013 14:43:00 +0400

- Night and morning people: the romance of sitting alone in complete darkness
- Potential war! China and Japan: all the bets are on
- Chinese Eugenics: lets breed billion genius babies!
- No more swearing on Russian Television: can the government actually control it?
- How TV creates a homelike atmosphere and foreigners swearing in Russian
- Survival programming: men judge women in milliseconds and why appearances matter
- Life on a moon of a planet: beautiful view and a possible plot for a book
- Overoptimistic Asia, Daniil and Landysh: Lingvistov Inc. and Maldives are our first destination
- Corn turns you into a vampire with diarrhea
- Part 3 of Adventure of Kim Jong-Un, the Brilliant Comrade
- Incredible facts about Kim Jong-Il: invention of hamburger, socialist Godzilla film and giant rabbits
- We are magicians! Message from one of our "Finish me Story" competition participants.
- New LINGVISTOV Podcast feature: our own audiobooks! Check the illustrations

Against the System (16)

Thu, 14 Mar 2013 10:45:00 +0400

- Want to make a girl happy? Send her packets of buckwheat via Russian Post
- What do you do while standing in a line? listening to audiobooks, observing people and reading
- Got an ugly wife or children? Now you can sue them and win hundred thousands of dollars!
- Daniils and Asias kind parents: well... you are ok... but you are not the most beautiful person
- Go against the system! Grow a beard and never cut your hair!
- Cloning pets: expensive and unnatural
- George W. Bush is a painter of dogs and seminude self-portraits. Whats his problem? Dogs?!
- Bored housewives in painting classes and "Eat, prey, love"
- Falkland Islands and Argetinian spies: Go British!
- 2-D and 3-D animated films: a source of confusion
- Ratatouille: Rats are adorable!
- North Korea is going to bring down the apocalypce and engulf us in the sea of fire!
- Part 2 of "Adventures of Kim Jong-un, the Brilliant Comrade"
- Dont forget to visit our website ссылка

Brogurt (15)

Wed, 06 Mar 2013 18:40:00 +0400

- Morning or mourning? and how many hours do you sleep?
- Challenge in Berlin: developing strategy to get Eddie Izzards attention with an apron
- Homeless people now, lavish entertainment centre later - house demolition problem of Lagos, Nigeria
- Titanic II: ultimate conspiracy theory
- Sending a couple to Mars: 501 days in a confined space with your husband/wife
- Brogurt: Find your inner abs
- Overly optimistic book titles: You can find Uranium!
- Oscars 2013: genius Christoph Waltz, Jennifer Lawrence and poor Leo DiCaprio
- 13th ammendment: You missed your chance to legally have slaves in the state of Mississipi!
- SPECIAL! Part I of Adventures of Kim Jong-un, the Brilliant Comrade
- Car design: art or just another way for the rich to spend their money
- Dont forget to write to us: info@lingvistov.ru

Cats in Underwear (14)

Mon, 25 Feb 2013 14:33:00 +0400

- How you can ruin your pets self-esteem with a haircut
- Asyas new passion: TV series about women in prison, weird English accents and Landyshs love for anything Scottish
- The saddest map of America: where do Americans spy love? Walmart and buses, yay!
- Where do you meet people? The Internet, nightclubs, cafes and speed dates
- A final tweet from Pope Benedict XVI and an iPhone app from the Catholic church
- Apple smart watch concept and what happens when Landysh loses ability to read properly
- Why girls like wearing mens watches: cool and useful!
- Esquires list of 75 things a man must do - were puzzled...
- Shoplifting: Asyas confession. Dont make her mistakes! Play cool.
- Yandex Maps destroys marriages: jealous women and why honesty is the best policy
- New features on our website: books, audiobooks, blog and doodles ссылка

Visaster!!! (13)

Mon, 18 Feb 2013 17:18:00 +0400

- Dynamic duo turned into Terrific trio! Daniil joins us this week for the lucky 13
- Romantics of the Russian Railroads: hundred reasons for you not to be able to fall asleep in your compartment
- Landysh in Ekaterinburg and people leading a cats life
- How to move into an apartment without your landlady finding out that you have a dog
- Meteorite in Chelyabinsk: flash of the UFO camera and how America tells Asia whats going on in her own country
- St. Valentines special: we believe Pistorius is innocent!
- Freedom! Scotland has to be independent and Asia carrying a no-visa burden
- "Sixth sense" and superpowers: what superpowers would you like to have?
- Sliders and Asia as the T-Woman who will save the Earth
- Pope resigns: we will remember him for his Prada shoes and a great sense of style
- Find out why we have Daniil in our team

Stephen Kinglish (12)

Sat, 09 Feb 2013 09:28:00 +0400

- A bright young thing: writer Daniil Yakovenko (read his work on: ссылка
- Olonets and Petrozavodsk: living in a real castle!
- Dormitories: parties, food and learning to fall asleep in any circumstances
- Fun facts about Karelia: Ded Moroz games, weird monuments, American spies and the Karelian language
- Landysh in Karelia: kayaking and freezing in the forest in August.
- Love of reading and writing: Stephen King and first short stories
- Inspiration: you have to earn it
- The English language: passion for translation
- Paris - the white city, eating frog legs and snails
- After college what are you going to do? - Write.

Don’t give me that dirty diaper look! (11)

Mon, 04 Feb 2013 21:09:00 +0400

- Asia is in Chelny! Unbelievable! Its a family reunion!
- A Russian family lived in taiga not knowing about World War II
- Living in isolation: are people that annoying?
- Raw eaters: do not torture your children, they deserve to have a choice
- The mole people: society that lives under your feet
- Crazy women with cats and why Landysh walks with four bottles of water everyday during summer
- Helping homeless people: a real business and who actually gets the money you give in the end
- Street artists: Asia is going to pimp Landysh on the streets of St.Petersburg
- Foodalicios: supermodels eating sandwiches on the tropical beach
- This is love: eating a sandwich in front of your partner
- Late-night eaters: when do you usually eat and why are people on diets always hungry?

My poor money tree (10)

Mon, 28 Jan 2013 11:11:00 +0400

- From St.Petersburg to Naberezhnye Chelny in winter on a bad car with two dogs: in short, Asia is insane
- Renting an apartment alone: independance, living on kasha and gardening
- The dilemma of a bathroom: a shower or a bath?
- Experiencing "kommunalnaya kvartira", i.e. a shared apartment, and what makes a good roommate
- Once again Germans and beer and our prejudice against beer
- Smoking special: the problem of giving up, a 2-year-old chain smoker and the effects of weed
- Smokers in elevators - we dont understand you! Show some respect
- Art stuff: modern art and how Rembrandt tried to hide a bad work under a coat of paint
- FINISH ME STORY COMPETITION continues! Submit your entries and write to us to info@lingvistov.com

Ostorozhno! (9)

Mon, 21 Jan 2013 21:14:00 +0400

- Germany-themed Lingvistov podcast - a real 100% proven German chef with us
- Fun facts about meine hbsche Angela Merkel
- "Ich bin ein Hamburger!" Fun facts and Germany: beer, beer and beer again, German sausages, bread, crazy dialects and autobahns
- Matthias Trschel, the chef and the traveller, talks about his adventures
- Nothing where you get too dirty, nothing where you have to wear a tie: why chef?
- Russian cuisine: cabbage, potatoes, dill and the mystery of okroshka
- Learning Russian the hard way: да, нет, спасибо, пиво!
- Propaganda, Berliner Mauer and modern stereotypes about Russians
- Guilt and responsibility: World War II, reputation of Germany in Russia
- The remarkable life of Matthias Trschel: a fire fighter and a film star

Just walking my cabbage pet (8)

Tue, 15 Jan 2013 12:03:00 +0400

- Supernatural: how the X files and the Nightmare on Elm Street can make you hear things and a doppelganger mystery
- New Year tree dilemma: should I undress it or leave it till spring?
- Hugo Chvez: martyr and boring stuff about his legacy
- Snakes on the plane: what would be your face expression if you saw a snake outside the airplane window
- Beware of accidents: high chances of your colleague shooting a nail into your heart and bad puns
- Classic California: Mr. Teeth guarding marijuana and exotic pet animals
- Whats up with the asteroids?! I wanna hear Aerosmith while Bruce Willis rescues me! And cameo appearance of Lola the Dog.
- Numerology: meanings of numbers that can cost you your life

Tatarisch Fantastisch (7)

Tue, 08 Jan 2013 00:01:00 +0400

- French special: forget Paris and Moscow, this is Naberezhnye Chelny, baby!
- French news: a disciplined 73-year-old stuck in the supermarket, Russian Depardieu and how Brigitte Bardot can become one of us
- French fiscal paradises: 13% or 75%? And why Hollande lacks an Italian wife
- A very French Florian in Russia: fleeing October Revolution, Russian "intelligentsia" and Lobachevskiy
- The charm of the Russian province, hidden machine guns and why banyas can finish a foreigner
- Lazy Russian men: how Asia and Landysh are planning to organize the Liberation de la Femme movement
- Lingvistov competition: finish the story and get fantastic prizes from us!!!

Maigloeckchen (6)

Tue, 01 Jan 2013 17:26:00 +0400

- Podcasts on cassettes, secretly recording your friends and writing for no audience
- Maipukite: how do you translate Landysh to other languages?
- Our darling Silvio: what members of his body are deep in sex scandals?
- Perfect boyfriend: an English-speaking smart and handsome gentleman with a diploma who cooks for himself
- Russian-style blind dates: packet of wine on the bench in the park
- Plotting to celebrate Christmas in Saudi Arabia
- Nerd news: British goverment is prepared for zombie invasion, a cognitive itch and misheard lyrics
- FINISH A STORY COMPETITION! Submit your entries!!!

A very big surprise for my mom (5)

Mon, 24 Dec 2012 10:18:00 +0400

- Hardships of an office life: Asias broken after dancing all night... well, lets face it - shes not 18 any more!
- What are the best ways to end the world or the world has to end with a bang!
- Zombie kit based on practice and defibrillator toaster: Were losing him! Nurse! Beep-beep-beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep...
- Mysterious Asya: not girlish, not modest, not calm
- Travelling in the USA: being Russian in America and how they are not so different from us
- Asia tour 2012: Laos people in nirvana and why people cry over asian food
- Esthetically pleasing palm trees, Asias tattoos and weakness for psychopaths

I even washed my hair (4)

Mon, 17 Dec 2012 22:05:00 +0400

- Freedom! Asya bids adieu to her boss and colleagues
- Lady Gaga: I am not a teenager but... and Landysh dreams about Gerard Butler
- A guide into the mind of a disturbed artist or a girl whose name rhymes only with "Пыдыщ"
- Monkeys on the stage: Why the world lost the greatest accordion player
- Lets talk about art: Wallpapers make the best canvases
- Love is in the air: Why Landysh scares off all the men and where potential boyfriends hide
- Oscar Wilde on badly written books, chaotic lives and Landysh is getting really serious
- Listeners comments: "It doesnt matter that no one listens to you. You guys are having fun!"
- Landysh leaving the States: henna tattoos and American bars

Intraterrestrials (3)

Wed, 05 Dec 2012 10:55:00 +0400

- Whats for dinner? Aggressive vegetarians
- Immigration issue: Asia is barred from the US and has no propiska
- Lets keep it romantic: spread my ashes over the ocean
- Personal god or please dont be Krishnaidi
- Koren heartthrob: Step away, Beckhams, Goslings and Coopers! The sexiest man alive is in the premises
- Nerd news: parallel universes where women are more important than men
- Culturemaniacs: she used to be he or how Keira Knightley ruins films

Outline of the Breast (2)

Sun, 25 Nov 2012 13:42:00 +0400

- Uncanny weather: the freaking winter is gonna get you
- A regular Friday for the rest of world that watched too much TV
- Airport security have a super power to see through your clothes and no touchy-touchy in our neighborhood
- Adopt a spire: another item to your list of ways to spectacularly waste your money
- Honesty is the best policy: a contestant for Miss Earth shows signs of rational thinking
- How to get attention of a lady: Sadam Husein with Dumbo in his underpants
- Nerd News: 24 personalities of Billy Milligan and why he never gets bored; simple ways to lobotomize your hyperactive child; our beloved psychopaths and schizophrenics

Pilot Chicken Feces (1)

Tue, 20 Nov 2012 15:45:00 +0400

- Petraeus and Broadwell affair: the rest of the world is not impressed
- We are moving to Colorado: legalization of cannabis
- Lesbian book under the counter: Utah district is sued for homophobia
- Your office in a car: German man is an example for us all or just a road hazard?
- Yam-yam: chicken feces for breakfast and how the hell they came up with okroshka?